How do you juggle it all? Strategies for living an integrated and inspired life by Dr. Kerri Cissna

How do you juggle it all? Strategies for living an integrated and inspired life.

By Dr. Kerri Cissna 

In her book Bossypants, Tina Fey exerts that the worst question you can ask a woman is “How do you juggle it all?” This question is familiar to working women across the country and around the world. It is a question that I have been asked countless times and a question that I have been asking myself for a very long time. It's also a question that I have asked many women through the Work-Life Integration Project, which is a research team that I joined in 2009. This question renders regret, guilt, and frustration from the women that I have interviewed. But, it also leads to strategies, solutions, and inspiration from these same women leaders who describe moments of success. For this blog, I will focus on the latter. 

Over the years, women have shared with our research team that they do not like the term “work-life balance.” They report it as a misnomer, and some even claim that “there is no such thing as balance, it does not exist.” After hearing this sentiment repeatedly, I grew curious about the notion of balance and the discomfort that was being associated with it. 

Why is balance important? From a physical perspective, balance is the ability to control your body’s position and is the key component of fitness, strength, endurance, and flexibility. From a spiritual perspective, balance is important for maintaining mental health and clarity. 

I have been practicing yoga regularly since 2008, which is a series of poses that you hold in order to release any unnecessary tension in your body or mind. It revolves around principles that lead you towards finding harmony and balance. I have discovered that when I have peace and calm in my life at work and home, I am able to hold more complex poses for longer and my balance is stronger.  However, I also noticed that I get wobbly when things are tumultuous in my inner life as a result of circumstances at work or home. I know that balance is important in yoga and it mirrors the feeling of harmony in other areas of my life. These themes around balance piqued my interest and led me to keep asking questions of women who report that “work-life balance” is unattainable. 

I decided to analyze data from 22 of the interviews that have been collected by the Work-Life Integration Project, to see what strategies might surface for work-life balance. I was on a quest to find answers for myself, a “careerist” who put more energy into work than any other facet of life. The 22 (American) women leaders that I selected earned over $100,000/annually and had between one and four children.  I asked about their experiences pertaining to work-life integration and about their childhood, adolescence, current adulthood, and future plans. The most valuable portion of data I collected was found in the three major themes that surfaced from these interviews around strategies for work-life balance. These prove to be even more applicable for today’s post-covid setting, where work-life integration has moved to the forefront of a lot of minds. I share these findings and suggestions with you here, in hopes that it will help you to create a plan for your own life to feel more integrated and inspired. 

1. Find Meaning. 

In order to feel a sense of balance, women need to have clarity on their purpose. They reported a desire for meaning in the roles that they find themselves in. There is a human quest to find meaning and purpose, which can contribute to feelings of work-life balance or integration. These women described ways to find meaning and passion through a variety of strategies. Faith was a strategy for finding meaning, as well as being involved in community organizations outside of work to create support and belonging. These women also described ways that they prioritize self-care and hobbies outside of work, which help them to feel more whole and integrated. 

2. Find Mentors. 

In order to find work-life balance, women reported finding mentors with who they could “be real”. These mentors did a good job of demonstrating work-life balance and making family life a priority in addition to work and community life. The mentors instigated confidence and shared examples for how to be intentional with parenting (which revolved around quality not the quantity of time with the family). These mentors were also a place to learn how to manage emotions. One woman also described the role of “anti-mentors” who have negative work-life balance practices, which is also a source of learning what not to do. 

3. Become Indispensable. 

Some of the women I interviewed described innovative ways to become indispensable at work, which led to more freedom and flexibility. Women spent time reflecting on areas they could grow into an expert so that they could not be easily replaced. They used various growth opportunities such as additional school, professional development, and training opportunities to carve out a niche. Technology was described as a tool that can help women to become indispensable by staying up-to-date on the latest trends in tech, and working from anywhere (soccer games, etc). 

I hope that you will consider some of these suggestions and reflect on your own work-life integration. How can you clarify your purpose or “north star” in order to find meaning in your everyday life? What mentors have you had that you can be real with? And how can you become indispensable at work to create more agency for yourself to have more freedom? These practical strategies should help create a sense of integration and inspiration. ...And you will also have an answer ready to go the next time someone asks, “How do you juggle it all?”