Mattering Makes Mentoring Meaningful by Dr. Stacy Rothberg Montgomery
Who are your top three mentors? Do you feel like you matter to them? When I think of my favorite mentors, there is one thing that stands out to me: My mentors care about me, know my strengths and weaknesses, their time and guidance has helped me grow, they have taught me how to make a difference, and they also want me to succeed in the future. With each mentor, there is a foundation of mattering that exists. The creator of “mattering” is Morris Rosenberg (1981), who was a distinguished sociologist from the University of Maryland. His concept of “Mattering” is defined as the desire to feel noticed, appreciated, and depended upon.
Most successful mentors include mattering in their practices. It is not about boosting a mentee’s self-esteem, instead it is an intentional way to empower a mentee. This empowerment happens through affirming the mentee’s potential, encouraging growth and finding specific ways to continue their development. As the mentor shares their time, wisdom, advice and resources, the mentee feels noticed and that they matter. Then, the mentee uses the mentor’s guidance as a catalyst and motivation for growth. When you are the recipient of mentoring and mattering, it equips you and gives you more confidence for future endeavors.
Along with mattering and mentoring, I’ve also had mentors who encouraged me through prayer and spiritual guidance. For me, this deepens the mentee and mentor relationship. Over the years, I have reached out to mentors to share significant issues and also requested prayer. To have a mentor share wise counsel and then pray with you is truly a gift. Through prayerful conversations and mentoring relationships, it has helped me successfully navigate life’s transitions and better lead in future challenging situations.
When you have received meaningful mentoring and you know that you matter, it gives you the opportunity to be an intentional mentor. One of the biggest blessings is to share the gift of valuable mentoring that I have received. Through the power of attentive listening, genuine caring, and receiving wise counsel, it has been transformational for me. During these conversations, not only do you feel like you matter but it empowers you to successfully navigate work and life’s challenges.
Who are your top three mentees? Are you ready to share your time, wisdom and guidance with a new mentee? As I write this blog, it reminds me to thank my favorite mentors and reach out to a few mentees to “check-in”. Both of these intentional practices, not only strengthens our relationships, but also reinforces how much they matter to me.